„Xander!“
[A man stands in the lobby of a hotel. Even though he wishes he was alone, he isn’t. He’s surrounded by people. Japanese people. That is closely related to the fact that the hotel is in Japan. The press is there, flashlights, well, flash. Xander is standing there, facing one camera after the other.]
„Xander-san! Over here!“ – „Xander!“
[How did he get so old? He used to be the young gun. No respect, no remorse. Nothing to lose, everything to fight for. A former champion. A former millionaire. A former psychotic. How did he end up here, at the end of the world, with a duffelbag of worn-out clothes, a worn-out manager – and whoever that girl was, striking poses like a Manga character]
Yoshimi: „But it’s me, Yoshimi! LOL!“
[Did she just really say LOL? And did she just read his mind? And why the heck am I talking about myself in the third person? What is a fourth wall? Is this thing on?]
Worn-out Manager Kenny [waving at the crowd, smiling and simultaneously trying to whisper conspiratorially]: „X, c’mon, what’s wrong with you? These Japanese guys are still crazy about you and Mr Mayamoto pays us enough to get a decent amount of Sushi. Wave! Be friendly!“
[When did I turn face? Does it even matter? I’m not a good guy. I’m not a bad guy. I’m just… wait, that does ring a bell. Nevermind. I was a promising wrestling talent and then one moment later, I’m a faded Superstar on the wrong end of 30 with nowhere to go but a japanese indy promotion.]
Kenny: „They love you! Look at all the people!“
Yoshimi: „YAY! These are real masses!“
Xander: „Ken, that’s truly a heep of short adults.“
[Wait, did I just speak? I am sorry if I was using stereotypes. I’m really turning face, huh? But I desperately wish those people would back up a lil. Hehe, a lil.]
Kenny: „Come and see the face that runs the place!“
Xander: „Could you stop stealing catchphrases?“
Kenny: „Why?“
Xander: „Because Xander said so, and that’s the bottom line.“
Yoshimi: „LOL, guys, this is really freaking me out!“
[If there’s a japanese word for stampede, well, then it’s what describes best what happens. They’re closing in on us, hysterically. Ecstacically. What’s that car?]
Xander: „Is that a DeLorean?“
Yoshimi: „A what? ^_^“
Xander: „How is it even possible you can look like that emoji?“
Kenny: „It’s not a DeLorean, it’s THE DeLorean!“
Xander: „Whaddayamean?“
Kenny: „It’s one of the orginal props used for the movie!“
Xander: „Oooh, great, I’m a big fan!“
Yoshimi: „HOP IN I’M GONNA RESCUE US!!11!“
Kenny: „Why are you screaming?!“
Yoshimi: „Sorry, Capslock!“
Xander: „Get… in… now!“
[They slam the door and lock them from the inside. Hello, I’m Tim, I’m you narrator for tonight.]
Yoshimi: „Hi, Tim!“
[That is just plain bizarre. But as the japanese Xander fans - or as they call themselves: Xanderfold – siege the car, the crew checks out the options left.]
Yoshimi: „We’re a crew now!“
Kenny: „What?“
Xander: „Focus, crew! We need to get outta here!“
Yoshimi: „What does that button do?“
Kenny [ignoring Yoshimi]: „That’s not The Mystery Machine!“
Yoshimi: „I’m going to push that button.“
Xander: „It’s neither the Batmobile, but it’s a sportscar, dammit!“
[Yoshimi pushes the button. And you don’t see what happens. Since the screen turns bright with a lot of flares and glitter and all that stuff. And, of course, you have to wait til the next episode. Ah, I guess I just found out what the fourth wall is. My name is Tim, and I approve this message.]
[A man stands in the lobby of a hotel. Even though he wishes he was alone, he isn’t. He’s surrounded by people. Japanese people. That is closely related to the fact that the hotel is in Japan. The press is there, flashlights, well, flash. Xander is standing there, facing one camera after the other.]
„Xander-san! Over here!“ – „Xander!“
[How did he get so old? He used to be the young gun. No respect, no remorse. Nothing to lose, everything to fight for. A former champion. A former millionaire. A former psychotic. How did he end up here, at the end of the world, with a duffelbag of worn-out clothes, a worn-out manager – and whoever that girl was, striking poses like a Manga character]
Yoshimi: „But it’s me, Yoshimi! LOL!“
[Did she just really say LOL? And did she just read his mind? And why the heck am I talking about myself in the third person? What is a fourth wall? Is this thing on?]
Worn-out Manager Kenny [waving at the crowd, smiling and simultaneously trying to whisper conspiratorially]: „X, c’mon, what’s wrong with you? These Japanese guys are still crazy about you and Mr Mayamoto pays us enough to get a decent amount of Sushi. Wave! Be friendly!“
[When did I turn face? Does it even matter? I’m not a good guy. I’m not a bad guy. I’m just… wait, that does ring a bell. Nevermind. I was a promising wrestling talent and then one moment later, I’m a faded Superstar on the wrong end of 30 with nowhere to go but a japanese indy promotion.]
Kenny: „They love you! Look at all the people!“
Yoshimi: „YAY! These are real masses!“
Xander: „Ken, that’s truly a heep of short adults.“
[Wait, did I just speak? I am sorry if I was using stereotypes. I’m really turning face, huh? But I desperately wish those people would back up a lil. Hehe, a lil.]
Kenny: „Come and see the face that runs the place!“
Xander: „Could you stop stealing catchphrases?“
Kenny: „Why?“
Xander: „Because Xander said so, and that’s the bottom line.“
Yoshimi: „LOL, guys, this is really freaking me out!“
[If there’s a japanese word for stampede, well, then it’s what describes best what happens. They’re closing in on us, hysterically. Ecstacically. What’s that car?]
Xander: „Is that a DeLorean?“
Yoshimi: „A what? ^_^“
Xander: „How is it even possible you can look like that emoji?“
Kenny: „It’s not a DeLorean, it’s THE DeLorean!“
Xander: „Whaddayamean?“
Kenny: „It’s one of the orginal props used for the movie!“
Xander: „Oooh, great, I’m a big fan!“
Yoshimi: „HOP IN I’M GONNA RESCUE US!!11!“
Kenny: „Why are you screaming?!“
Yoshimi: „Sorry, Capslock!“
Xander: „Get… in… now!“
[They slam the door and lock them from the inside. Hello, I’m Tim, I’m you narrator for tonight.]
Yoshimi: „Hi, Tim!“
[That is just plain bizarre. But as the japanese Xander fans - or as they call themselves: Xanderfold – siege the car, the crew checks out the options left.]
Yoshimi: „We’re a crew now!“
Kenny: „What?“
Xander: „Focus, crew! We need to get outta here!“
Yoshimi: „What does that button do?“
Kenny [ignoring Yoshimi]: „That’s not The Mystery Machine!“
Yoshimi: „I’m going to push that button.“
Xander: „It’s neither the Batmobile, but it’s a sportscar, dammit!“
[Yoshimi pushes the button. And you don’t see what happens. Since the screen turns bright with a lot of flares and glitter and all that stuff. And, of course, you have to wait til the next episode. Ah, I guess I just found out what the fourth wall is. My name is Tim, and I approve this message.]